Lessons From Horse Training
This one may be a bit controversial so i'm going to disclaimer it a bit. When i mention traditional, aversive based training (aversive and relief) i do not mean its abusive or cruel or unkind, but simply, these are the life lessons we learn from using this type of communication.
Horses are great teachers, we have known this since the moment we domesticated them. We can learn so much about ourselves, how to socialize, communicate, and be good people in general, by working with animals...
No matter how we approach training we learn all the basic care, management, responsibility, time management, the value of hard work, how to keep our animals (and ourselves) healthy through diet and fitness. We learn how to read non-verbal communication and to communicate back.
But how we choose to communicate back says alot about us and what we will learn from horses. Horses, those who have thrived in domestication, have learned to be controlled through the physical and emotional force with the use of tools, escalating aversives, and threat of punishment. Even if you never had to escalate to unkind extremes, the horse is working in avoidance. Avoidance of you and your tools and the threats that they carry.
When we work with horses like that we become desensitized to their emotions, behavioral displays of stress, we learn to punish and fight our way out of difficult situations. We learn to prioritize ourselves, to be demanding, controlling, bossy, toxic, and we call it "dominance", which is debunked as a theory, so let's call it what it is, bullying. We learn skills to manipulate and control others based on what we want, at their expense, and how to hold and puppeteer them into doing it for us.
When we train horses with positive reinforcement, relationship focused approaches, we learn the opposite. Empathy, compassion, listening, and non-violent communication skills. We learn to value what they offer us and appreciate what we can achieve together. We grow in cooperation and trust. We learn to work as a team and recognize progress, becoming optomistic as we overcome challenges and work together to achieve our shared goals.
Focus your growth in kindness and compassion.
Aside:
When an instructor tells a kid "kick harder", "get after him for that!", "don't let him get away with that", "you're the boss, make him do it!", "pull pull! Harder", "let's get a stronger bit/whip/spur", "it doesn't hurt him, just kick!", "spin him in a circle", "snap the lead"... need i go on? We've all had these instructors. What lessons are kids learning about how to work as a team if this is teamwork? What are they being praised for when they win a ribbon, if this is how they earned it?